如何管理你的老板
<P style="TEXT-JUSTIFY: inter-ideograph; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial Unicode MS"><STRONG><EM><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt">以<SPAN lang=EN-US>“激进”和“逢迎”的方式与与领导沟通很难产生任何积极的效果，不妨试一下这种善意的“真相”</SPAN></SPAN></EM></STRONG><EM><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"></SPAN></EM></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">我经常听见有人问这样一个问题：</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">“</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">怎么才能影响我的老板？怎样才能让上司听从我的意见？</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">”</SPAN></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"></SPAN></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">我的回答会令那些希望听到一个巧妙睿智策略以便掌控老板的人感到失望，因为我把球踢回给了下属自己。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"></SPAN></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">任何想要影响上司的人首先必须承认，上司自己也想把自己的工作做得更好。很多员工觉得，自己的老板根本就是在原地打转。但我为什么会有这种观点呢？因为我问过很多中层管理者是否愿意提高管理技能，是否愿意接受别人的建议。他们的回答是愿意，而且绝大多数的态度都很真诚，并非敷衍了事。然而，当我问及他们认为自己的上司是否也渴望把自己的工作做得更好并获得反馈意见时，这些管理者通常都面露疑色，大摇其头，而根本没有意识到这一态度的自相矛盾之处。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"></SPAN></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">这一双重标准可以用</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">“</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">基本归因错误</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">”(fundamental attribution error)</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">理论来解释，这是我在大学的社会心理学课上学到的。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">根据该理论，人们往往会把别人犯的错误归咎于其内在的劣根性，而把自己犯的错误归咎于临时性的外部因素。举例而言，当上级管理不当时，我们会认为这是故意所为，他本来就当不了好领导；而当我们自己管理不当时，只会觉得这是因为压力太大，犯了个错误而已。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"></SPAN></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">当然，这种想法毫无道理。我们必须了解并正确面对自己这种发自天性但很危险的偏见，否则就会无端怀疑上司的做法，也不会相信他们真的会接受建议并做出改进。迈出这一步后，我们就可以进入影响上司的第二个阶段：采取正确的沟通方式。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"></SPAN></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">做好第二步的关键是掌握一种我称之为</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">“</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">善意真相</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">”(kind truth)</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">的东西。为理解这种做法，我们首先来看两种最难产生效果的一般方式。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"></SPAN></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">第一种是</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">“</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">激进</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">”</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">方式，比方说一个愤怒的员工冲进经理办公室，把自己当作广大员工的代言人，藐视权威，决心煞煞面前这个一头雾水经理的威风。这种做法往往在电视剧和电影情节里会发挥作用，但在现实中通常没什么效果，只会让上级陷入一个左右为难的处境，逼他要么在这种谋反行为面前采取自卫行动，要么当缩头乌龟，而大多数有自尊的领导会选择自卫。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"></SPAN></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">另一种没有效果的做法是</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">“</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">逢迎</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">”</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">方式，比方说一个善意的员工想让自己的意见被上司所接受，因此曲意奉承，搞好关系，希望有朝一日能巧妙提出一些促使领导改进的建议。这种做法也很难奏效，因为那些因逢迎而得到上级青睐的下属很快意识到，自己喜欢这种融洽的上下关系，所以在需要坦诚直言的时候反而缩手缩脚，生怕危及现状。此外，上司通常也不会要求他们多提批评意见，而只是很高兴结交了新的朋友。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"></SPAN></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">最佳的做法是</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">“</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">善意真相</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">”</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">方式，这要求员工设身处地为上司考虑，并表达出这种感受。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"> </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">当上级感觉到你理解他身处的环境和面临的问题时，就会敞开心扉，接受善意的建议，改进自己的工作。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"></SPAN></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">我怎么知道这种做法管用呢？因为多年来我对自己的上级一直采取这种沟通方式，并且获益匪浅。我总是被大家推进总裁办公室，让我替他们说话。每次我都说出</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">“</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">善意真相</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman">”</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">，而老板总是会仔细地听取并接受我的建议。经过一段时间，我发现他开始主动向我征询意见，因为他知道我不会冲他夸夸其谈，大喊大叫，或是溜须拍马，而是会提出真诚而有用的建议。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman"></SPAN></SPAN> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 23pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 16.75pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 11.5pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'">要是你用了这种方式但没有效果怎么办？要是你因此受到报复和被孤立怎么办？这也许清楚表明，你现在可以毫无内疚或毫不犹豫地跳槽，另找一个能敞开心怀接受下属意见的好东家</SPAN></P>
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