搞笑英语谚语
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman 吻她吧，不够君子If you don“t, you are not a man 不吻吧，不象汉子
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying 夸她吧，说你欺骗
If you don“t, you are good for nothing 不夸吧，说你笨蛋
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing 顺她吧，说你气管炎
If you don“t, you are not understanding 不顺吧，不善解人
If you make romance, you are an “experienced man“ 太浪漫，疑你老练
If you don“t you are half a man 太规矩，魅力不足
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring 常看她，招她厌烦
If you don“t, she accuses you of double crossing 少去点，怨你猎艳
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy 穿得好，说你花心
If you don“t, you are a dull boy 邋遢些，缺个心眼
If you are jealous, she says it“s bad 吃醋吧，你太狭隘
If you don“t , she thinks you do not love her 大度点，说你不爱
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn“t respect her 求欢吧，不够尊重
If you don“t, she thinks you do not like her 安分吧，不够爱宠
If you are a minute late, she complains it“s hard to wait 你晚了，她等得
If she is late, she says that“s a girl“s way 它晚了，女孩特权
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel 你访友，是你堕落
If she is visited by another, “oh it“s natural, we are girls“ 她聚会，天性其乐
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold 少亲她，你太冷淡
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage 老亲她，便宜你占
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics 过街不管，道德有缺憾
If you do, she thinks it“s just one of the man“s tactics 领着她走，男人耍手段
If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting 你看别人，是挑逗风情
If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring 别人看她，是仰慕佳绝
If you talk, she wants you to listen 你要说话，它让你听
If you listen, she wants you to talk 洗耳恭听，她逼你开言
Oh God! you created those creature called “WOMAN“ 上帝啊！为何拆我骨头造女人？
So simple, yet so complex 简简繁繁
So weak, yet so powerful 弱弱强强
So confusing, yet so desirable 我晕头转向，我魂牵梦扰
“O LORD, tell me what to do. AMEN“ 上帝啊！求你告我怎么办？
Men Are Hard To Pleased
男人很難取悅!!
The problems with GUYS:
男人的問題是：
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
如果妳對他好，他說妳愛上他了．
If u Don“t, he says u are PROUD.
對他不好，他說妳驕傲．
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
如果妳穿得很漂亮，他說你企圖誘惑他．
If u Don“t, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
如果不，他說妳是鄉下來的
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
如果跟他理論，他說妳固執
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
如果妳沈默，他說妳沒大腦！
If u are SMARTER than him, he“ll lose FACE;
如果妳比他聰明，他沒面子
If he“s Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
如果他比你聰明，他很棒！
If u don“t Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
如果妳不愛他，他想擁有妳
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.（very true huh?)
如果妳愛他，他試著離開妳．
If u don“t make love with him., he says u don“t Love him;
如果妳不跟他做愛，他說妳不愛他
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
如果跟他做，他說你是賤貨！
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROBLESOME;
如果妳告訴他妳的問題，他說妳麻煩
If u don“t, he says that u don“t TRUST him.
如果不，他說妳不信任他
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
如果妳罵他，妳好像他奶媽
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
如果他罵妳，是表示他“關心”妳
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
如果妳沒有守承諾，妳是不可信的人
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
如果他不守承諾，他是不得以的
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
如果妳吸煙，妳是壞女人
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMENT.
如果他吸煙，他是紳士
If you are a girl
what do you think your boyfriend?
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