a very good speech by the CEO of COCA COLA

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Cigarette A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

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Love affairs Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

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Marriage It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

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Divorce Future tense of marriage

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Lecture An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

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Conference The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

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Compromise The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

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Tears The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

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Dictionary A place where divorce comes before marriage.

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Conference Room A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.