A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud
of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to
go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six'?" His
wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!'"
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would
need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for a flight to Europe. Not wanting to
be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me tomorrow morning at 5:00 am". The next morning the man woke
up, only to discover it was 9:00am, and that he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed....it said "It's 5:00am, wake up."
Always allow the bosses to spea
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting.On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is
granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the
Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff, and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and he
was also gone.
The boss calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at
12.35pm"
Moral of the story is:
" Always allow the bosses to speak first"
never assume ur BOSS knows every
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.never assume ur BOSS knows every
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and mysecretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive.
He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the
shredder machine.
"I just need one copy."
Lesson II - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.
Never insult anyone
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when theAmerican turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"
The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"
Again, the Japanese was confused over
the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled,
Never insult anyone
"What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!,
etc......???"
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind of 'key'
was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-kee' am I?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
Lesson III - Never insult anyone.
Think twice before you say somet
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, whofound this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle.
He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish.
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of
water to become, then your wish will come true."
Think twice before you say somet
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted"WINE".The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy
swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed
himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with
his beer pool.
Think twice before you say somet
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he stepson a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
SHIT!!!!!!!........."
Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something, because sometimes accidents do
happen